Yes, I am indeed referring to a release from frustration, stress and a heaviness that has been pressing on my body for a few years.  Just released.

Oh! Right! I was let go. Yes, I was a gun found at a crime site. Shhh. I’m avoiding that word. It was Thursday May 7, 2020, and my boss called me. That’s when I knew that my time in the only company I ever worked at has come to an end. His soft and polite tone spoke before him. I heard what he wanted to say before he said it. This is natural if you have been working with someone for 2 years and could count the dialogues you have had over that time…on one hand.

Talk about emotional intelligence. You have it if your boss calls you and you know you are getting released before he says anything about it. Look out for LinkedIn posts: “I have high emotional intelligence. I knew I was being fired from the boss’ tone…over the phone!!!” Imagine how much awkwardness (and money) can be saved by companies on short phone calls. In a soft and polite tone: “Hi, hope you are well and safe”. “Oh. OK. I understand. Just send me the paperwork”. “Ok, bye”.

Breaking Free

Back to May 7

My mind went dark; in color, not in intention, as I just wanted to end the call, and attend to the internet issue that was keeping me from conducting the meetings planned for the day. It was so inconsiderate. How was I going to focus on fixing the internet thingy if i’m told i’m a gun at the…You know, the word we can’t say – wink. If not for work, then for Netflix. The mighty internet had to come back up, and I was not letting any news pull me away from it.

That Internet Connection!

Connectivity issue at home, which was keeping me from doing my work, was the first thing that distracted me from my boss who wanted me to stop doing my work. It’s as if my router was telling me something. It definitely wasn’t, but since this is my story, let’s just say it was. Come to think of it, this router, who now goes by the name “what a day to let me troubleshoot”, was just a few pixels in a bigger picture of me. Elements of this picture were aligning towards the one thing that was causing the biggest dilemma in my life. See, I wanted to leave the stress and the dissatisfaction of my job, but the “payroll” injection kept me hanging. It has been 4 years now since I’ve had this feeling, and it has been growing ever since.

Internet connection fixed. I went through emails and accepted the formal invite for the exit interview with HR. The other emails and meeting invites which took up the largest parts of my days since lockdown, suddenly became pesky flies, but without wings. They really couldn’t bother me, and getting rid of them was easy. Felt like a spring day, me sipping on a latte, with no flies in sight. Pretty amazing, if that’s even a possibility. I bet you think things go uphill from that point, and they do. But not on that first night.